The Art of Surrender and Noticing

Originally written on October 17, 2025 in Ubud, Bali

This year’s trip to Asia was FULL of moments when I told myself, “I don’t want this moment to ever end.” I’ve gained this talent and ability to rethink how I understand and witness how time moves. There have been distinct moments throughout this trip to Tokyo, Jakarta, Bandung and all across Bali when I’ve wanted time to stop ticking in its normal cadence.

I felt it in Tokyo when I took Andy to one of my favorite gyukatsu restaurants. My brother and I went to this restaurant for the first time in 2017 and to this day, it’s a dining experience that I think of often. As I was enjoying my own bites of food and peering over at Andy to see if the meal had a similar affect on him, I remember thinking that I never wanted this meal to end. As the crispy pieces of fried meats disappeared from my plate, I wondered how I could prolong each bite and chew of the juicy beef, perfectly cooked rice, and crisp cabbage salad. I savored each morsel, I chewed as slow as I could. I drank in every corner of that room. I watched the chefs work neatly and meticulously as they gracefully moved in their small, open kitchen.

The feeling happened again during one of our last nights in Bali at our hotel. It felt like we had the whole place to ourselves. I remember our nightly swim under the moon and beside the candlelit pathways. We talked about our upcoming wedding, the places we wanted to show friends and family, the beaches we wanted to play at. It was on our last day together that I decided to sign up for a yoga teacher training in Bali that following month.

It may have been one of the many best decisions I’ve made. While it sacrificed my time spent in Jakarta wedding planning and seeing family, signing up for yoga teacher training and spending three weeks in Bali has been magical.

During my 10-day, 100 hour intensive training (I only could attend the first half of the course), I’ve gotten more in tune to the voice within. I learned how to be gentle with myself, when to pull back when something didn’t feel right, even though my ego told me I could push through it. I learned that while I thrive in solitude and being selfish with “alone time,” there’s a lot to be learned from witnessing the people around me.

One fellow yoga teacher-in-training who was especially insightful and thought-provoking was a 12-year old young man named Jacob*. When I first saw him, we were all getting settled in before our opening ceremony. He was peacefully sitting on a cushion meditating while everyone else was chatting nervously or finding their own space in a room full of strangers in total awe of what the next weeks would hold.

Over the next 10 days, I grew to know Jacob, his interests, his perspective on life. He brought his own kind of curiosity to our classes about anatomy and yoga philosophy. He made me laugh and he made me think bigger. Despite his short-lived life, he had so many stories and experiences that I could relate to. We quickly became friends and now I’m glad to know someone who lives in the Caribbean!

Apart from our mornings of breath work and meditation, and afternoons of mind-blowing discussions on anatomy, teaching methodologies, and pure consciousness, my favorite part of each day was our post-breakfast chanting with Dada, a tantric monk. On day one he taught us the chant, Baba Nam Kevalam, which translates to “love is everywhere.”

Dada taught us about the meaning of this mantra and continuously shared stories of people surrendering to this philosophy and finding ultimate peace. We spent nearly 20 minutes each day chanting this tune in a circle facing each other while he played his acoustic guitar. We all started the chant with our eyes closed and arms above our heads in an act of surrender while we moved our bodies back and forth to his tune and each other’s singing. It was truly a magical way to start each afternoon.

After a couple days of memorizing his tune and the guitar’s beat, our entire group sang the mantra in harmony. There were times when I’d open my eyes during the song and see all of my friends dancing slowly on their mat, smiling sometimes, or serious in through. With hands in the air surrendering to the room, or with hands at heart center, we all had our own way of experiencing this melodic chant.

Being the sympathetic and overly-empathetic person that I am, I often caught myself truly feeling the love in the room, with the sensation of love enveloping me. I felt love and warmth permeating that room. I’d get images or thoughts in my head of loved ones back home, sometimes visuals of us all at our upcoming wedding. That chant was comforting and it got louder and more vibrant as the days passed. Like a true Cancer, I often felt tears coming down my face as much I wanted to hold them in.

As we approached the 100th hour of the yoga teacher training, I knew fully well I didn’t want to leave but knew I had to move on with the next part of my journey. (There were two solid days where I really considered cancelling all of my plans and staying through the rest of the training. It killed me inside to not finish with all of my new friends.)

On my tenth and last day of yoga school, I felt that sentiment of “I don’t want this moment to ever end” so heavy in my body and heart. The tears that day were nearly uncontrollable and I hoped that the others next to me weren’t picking up on my sad girl vibes.

When that final chant was over, I opened up my eyes and instinctually glanced over at Jacob, my new soul friend. Even at 12 years old, he looked at me in a way that implied and understood my sadness for the moment, but appreciation for the experience. But his sweet little smile was all I had to see to understand that these last moments were a gift.

I wiped my face and sat down on my mat for my last meditation with the group. The sounds of Baba Nam Kevalam still being whispered in the back of my mind. I offered up my gratitude for the time spent at yoga school. I asked for blessings and protection for the coming days. I stood up after meditation, taking in every inch of that room, and rolled up my mat for the last time.

As I put my mat away and started clearing up my space, Jacob came up to me and gave me the biggest hug, actually resembling how Andy hugs me after too much time spent apart. Jacob told me how much he’d miss me and that he was so glad he met me. The tears were free-flowing at this point. Then suddenly more of my yoga teacher friends stood in a line after Jacob to say their goodbyes.

“I don’t ever want this moment to end.”

But I had to be on my way, fully knowing I’d see these friends again in a week when I’d drop by the studio for one last yoga class before flying back home. When I did go back to the yoga studio after a few days traveling the island, the energy shifted when I saw the group again.

Some people were absent due to illness and exhaustion, others were hyper-focused on the upcoming exam. The room felt different, more serious even, and I was even more grateful for the time I had with everyone those first two weeks.

My time in Bali, my time traveling the world, always nudges me to detach from my phone screen, look up and witness the world around me. It’s in these moments I meet a new friend, experience the pure magic of nature, and restore my faith in humanity. Love is truly everywhere. You just have to close your eyes for a moment, surrender and receive it <3

*Names have been changed for privacy purposes

Living the art of contentment

Santosha, in Sanskrit, means contentment or satisfaction.

This word has come into my life twice in the past couple of weeks, mostly in yoga classes, but also in the back of my mind.

In my world, this word translates to the overall contentment, understanding and radical acceptance of your current situation. Regardless of what happened that day, what was said or done in the past, whatever is coming up on the horizon—it’s all ok and how it’s supposed to be.

But how could the average person just accept the fact that everything that’s wrong in the world is fine as is?

I like to consider myself a very “chill” person in all facets of life, but what’s been bugging me the most lately is how hard it’s been to get a job.

If you know me in real life, you’d think I’d be thriving in all of this freedom. And not to say that’s not true, but more than a steady paycheck, I miss writing, working on projects, and meeting with my designers every week.

There are moments when I feel a little brainwashed by our hustle culture. Especially when I think about the family connectedness I experienced while traveling abroad. Since our early years of school, the number one question asked was always, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

My answer (before I decided to become a professional writer) was a marine biologist. (I know, so weird, right?)

My answer never was, “I want to be glued in (and honestly controlled) by my laptop jumping from one meeting to another solving content problems that should have been fixed in other ways.”

So when I think about my inner child’s dream career, it still kinda makes sense. I wanted to be out on the open waters, under the sun, learning things about a life I had never known. Using my hands to discover new stuff and study how and why things changed.

I’ve been unemployed now for almost a year. In my time off, I’ve traveled Asia and reconnected with family. I have memories that I’ll carry through for years to come.

Back on the mainland, I’ve reconnected with friends and family. I’ve settled into a life that isn’t full of dining out at fancy places or filling my days with random things to do.

I sit at home and rested. I take my dogs on daily walks when I’m staying in San Diego. I volunteer at my local food bank when I live in Washington. I’ve planted things in our garden. I go on walks and talk to trees, dogs and myself.

I found things that made me utterly happy, without spending money.

My situation is the best it could be. I thankfully don’t panic about a lack of money. Although money and income can be a stressor, I’ve found ways to lean on others—or even find free things to do—to keep my mind occupied and content. My family and partner have done an amazing job at making me feel that everything in the end will all turn out ok.

That state of mind—that peace of mind—is what’s bringing ease into my life right now. And that sensation is absolutely priceless.

It’s summer time here in the states and I’m used to spending a fuck-ton of cash to travel and adventure out in the world. But I can’t tell you how content I’ve felt just resting at home with my dogs, or watching movies with my little brother, or just visiting with the people in my life.

There have been moments this past year when I asked myself, “What on earth am I supposed to be doing right now if I don’t have a steady job?” I haven’t figured it out completely, but there is happiness in enjoying your own home space, laying on the floor and cuddling your animals, and getting your hands dirty with yard work.

I know this time won’t last forever. I know 1000% that I will land a job that I absolutely love. But for now, I’m bathing in the contentment that all is completely fine.

Bali Travel Agent for Hire!

It’s been an absolute gift to have the ability to travel to some of the world’s most popular destinations. I’ve lived in San Diego and San Francisco; I’ve visited Japan during three different seasons; I get to call Indonesia home; I have a nomadic life and have successfully worked and traveled in many countries.

One thing I’ll be focusing on these next six to 12 months is becoming an expert in Bali travel. I’ve been to Bali a handful of times over the last 10 years. I have family there and am sharpening my Indonesian language skills. I’ve seen the island change and have witnessed the popularity of traveling to Bali grow enormously. There are so many reasons why Bali is a top destination for people around the world and I want to be the person people reach out to when it comes to booking their next vacation in Bali.

As a travel advisor with FORA, I’m able to connect eager vacationers with some of my favorite places on Bali. And as someone who is planning their wedding in Bali, I now have knowledge and connections to make traveling there even more efficient and cost-effective.

I’ve traveled to Bali with family and my fiancé and always look for restaurants, hotels, villas and attractions off the beaten path. Each time I visit, I find new places to fall in love with. I seek out neighborhoods that tourists often overlook, and while I’d love to keep these areas my secret, there’s so much of Bali to discover.

Come inside one of my favorite spas in Ubud, Bali.

I’ll keep posting stories about my travels to blog, so stay tuned! And please reach out to me either through NadiaWanders or on FORA when you’re ready to start talking about your Bali vacation!

Found Again

Originally written on Thursday February 13, 11:40 am

I’m sitting at the breakfast table above the trees and pool and the crashing waves at our yoga retreat at Beach Bluff in Bocas del Toro, Panama (more on that trip later). I just got out of a massage with a wonderful Panamanian woman who cracked me open in my neck, shoulders, back, hips and heart. The waves are crashing ferociously. There’s some clanging about in the kitchen, while our private chefs are cooking up something amazing, and my favorite travel friends are laying in hammocks within eyesight enjoying the space.

In this moment, we’re in literal paradise. No one here is rushing to take a conference call, the air is clean with a faint scent of salt water, soil and tropical flowers. We’re warm, safe and are bellies are full of some of the freshest and healthy food.

Hummingbirds have been flying around the dining table suckling sweet nectar from the feeders. Butterflies take up air space and float above us and birds of all types call out every few minutes. It’s truly been a magical time here on this island.

It’s been a journey to get here. Not just the flights and boat rides, but more so what it took to get here—to the person I am today. I’ve spent some time reflecting on old memories of who I was, the tools I picked up along the way, the things I’ve had to tell myself to make it through to the other side.

The street sign as you enter my family’s compound on Guam

I think a lot about my short, six-day trip to visit my dad’s side of the family in Guam. Imagine not seeing half of your extended family for more than 25 years, just for you to get thrown into the mix and try to explain what you’ve been up to over the last two decades. There’s never enough time to catch up.

Having family in three different places/countries is a blessing, so I cherish the moments when I can. It makes reunions that much sweeter, but realizing the time that has passed in between our last visits definitely has a weird affect on me. I left Guam the last time when I was in middle school and returned when I was 40. What is time?

My dad and I stayed with my aunt who took the week off to welcome me back home. She showed me around the island, which only takes a few hours to see, and made sure I saw as many cousins as humanly possible.

I asked my other aunt if I could watch her cook some of grandma’s recipes. I spent some time at my grandparents’ house looking through their relics, clothing and photos. I listened to stories about all of the silly things they would do, while I was growing up in San Diego.

I met with my older cousins who spent some time in California when I was super young and listened to stories of our family throughout the years. I sat in the backseat while my family drove me around allowing me to watch life from the window. I caught up with cousins who I met when we were kids, who now have kids of their own. I sat in wonder about how I could have so much family who I know so little about.

I envy friends who live in the same city and state as their family. I wish for a bigger family that lived near, where I could just drop by their house and chat over a meal. I’m sad that I’m missing so much of my nieces’ and nephews’ pivotal years, yet life goes on, and I just have to hope that I’ll be able to come back home again one day in the near future.

I made it a personal project of mine to look through my grandparents’ old home, seeking any relics I recognized from my last visit. I must have been 12 or 13 years old when I visited last. I recognized all of the sunflower decor my grandma had around the kitchen. I went through their old closet, remembering stories my cousins told me about how fashionable they were, all decked out while hosting parties at the compound. I picked out a few of their matching outfits and told my aunties that Andy and I would give them another life during our upcoming wedding photoshoots.

Since time was so limited, I was only able to go through one album and two shoe boxes full of loose photos. Memories came to the forefront of my mind and some photos reminded me of my last trip to the island. I found photos of me as a little girl sitting with my older cousins at bonfires, a trip to Disneyland that I barely remember happening, and the time my grandparents flew out to see me graduate from high school. I flipped through photos of my relatives throughout the years, and got sad thinking about all of the moments I missed. I even found photos of my grandparents wearing some of the outfits I just packed away for myself.

But what was hiding at the bottom of one of those shoe boxes is something I’ll never be able to explain. In two ziplock bags, I discovered things that looked very familiar. I first pulled out an old red, white and black beaded bracelet with yin and yang symbols on them. I started to look closer and a bunch of found funky, colorful rings and hair clips.

“Oh my gosh, these are mine!!” I screamed out to my aunt who was sitting at the table admiring old photos with me. “How on earth did these get here?!”

To my fellow Y2K girlies out there, imagine finding old silver hair barrettes with “Flower Power” written in bubble writing. Or an old silver ring you bought at Afterthoughts (or maybe it was Claire’s in your city) with a green frog, yellow happy face, red heart, and black peace sign on it. Insert your favorite jewelry piece from the Delia’s catalog and I probably had a version of it.

Within these two bags, I unleashed a whole chapter of memories from my pre-teen years. I’ll never know how those things showed up, or why I was directed to find them, but there they were.

Maybe my grandma saw that I left them behind and put them in a place she knew they’d be found again. Maybe my inner child left these as bread crumbs for my current self to find and cherish later. Either way, something in my brain unlocked when I found those trinkets and now I’ll carry those treasures into my life today.

—-

As much as I want to keep thinking of my past and where I’m going in the future, this yoga retreat is gently forcing me to be with my present self. Our leaders Jacob and Andrew asked us to reflect on the sounds, sensations and stillness that we find ourselves on our yoga mats. Even the massage therapist gently nudged me about being in the present when she asked, “OK, but how is your back and body feeling right now,” right after I spent an uncomfortable amount of time mumbling through previous injuries and pressure preferences.

Like many people, I can get so caught up in what caused my physical state today without asking myself how I feel in the moment currently.

While I was laying in Savasana during yesterday’s yoga class, I heard a voice telling me to find my breath. Literally find it in my body. So often during this restful yoga posture, I notice my mind racing to other thoughts. What’s for lunch? How will I finish that chore I was in the middle of right before I showed up to class? Why was such I brat when he/she asked me that question earlier today?

That same voice told me to put my hands on my belly to better notice and find my breath.

Up, down. Up, down. Full, empty. Top, bottom. Those noisy thoughts about everything else slowly vanished. My mind was finally quiet in Savasana—after almost 20 years of practice.

Today, now, I’m starting to admire the person who shows up. I look at her, whether in the mirror or internally, with the utmost of respect.

Big calves, thick thighs, sculpted obliques, soft belly, big booty, strong shoulders, busy mind, and everything in between.

I’m still processing what it’s like to be home after traveling—let alone an amazing week in Panama practicing yoga with some of my besties. But what I know for sure is that even though my mind is constantly racing and sometimes allows intrusive thoughts to linger a bit too long, I can still celebrate the times when clarity does show up. Because sometimes it’s in those short moments where everything feels right, safe, and like it’s all part of the master plan.

Do you like Sanrio?

Originally written on January 24, 2025

It’s been about 30 hours since I landed back in America and what I love and savor the most (beyond the amazing and fresh food) was how effortless it was to make friends with the foreigners and locals I met along the way.

It’s hard to believe that I started my travels back in mid October in India. My time there was colorful and restful and I was surprised how much we loved it there and how quickly we thought about our return trip. Andy got to meet his coworkers and spent genuine time with them. I loved my time there, seeing the sights and tasting new flavors, and all the new friends we made.

My time in Indonesia is always special. I love spending time with my Oma, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews who are so curious about who I am, and what it was like visiting Indonesia when I was younger. It’s fun remembering all my past travels to Indonesia through the eyes of my family there.

Thailand was an absolute dream. The food, people, nightlife, shopping, it all blew me away. Im grateful for the time to explore the country solo and with parents.

Spending nearly 3 weeks in Bali was such a gift. I always feel at home on that island and it feels like the people there really welcome me. I’m grateful for all of the new friends I met along my travels there.

Coming home to Guam was unreal. It had been 25+ years since I’ve been on the island and the homecoming was warm and full of good family time. There’s a lot I need to catch up on but I’m glad to have made the effort to go somewhere that seems so far away. 

The day trips in Manila were a bonus I didn’t realize I’d love so much. It was so easy to sightsee and I’m grateful for our new friend Denden who drove us around and showed us his favorite sites.

And my 11 days in Japan were beyond unbelievable. The people, the nature, art and food all continue to reinforce my love for the country. I’ll remember all the delicious meals, wandering the streets, and the miles walked each day despite the chilly weather.

At the end of 98 days of travel, my greatest souvenir are all serendipitous human interactions I experienced. Whether it was someone sitting next to me at a restaurant, a new person I met during a tour, or even the girls I met while taking photos, I collected another handful of wonderful memories.

Despite me not knowing Indonesian, Hindi, or Japanese fluently, I made an effort to show gratitude and my appreciation for travel each day.

I discovered that people in my cooking class in Phuket live near my parents’ house in Dallas and that we shop at the same Korean supermarket. Or the drivers I met in Bali who are now friends with me on social, who occasionally send messages and well wishes. To the girlies I met in Japan who took photos of me while at beautiful locations, or shared an afternoon of sightseeing because we were both single women exploring a town with nothing to do but enjoy our time. I am forever grateful for humanity and its kindness.

Having these conversations reminded me how I would get to know someone as a little kid. I’d ask this new playmate about their hobbies, if they liked things I liked — all in effort to find common ground that would spark conversation.

I found myself asking people about their favorite food, their favorite cities, and even their favorite Sanrio characters.

This first struck me while I explored Uji, a quaint town near Kyoto. I first approached Kurumi when she was standing near the entrance gate to a small Shinto temple. The sunset lighting was so perfect and I knew I needed a photo there too.

I offered to take her picture and in turn she offered to take mine. We started to talk about where we were headed and what else there was to explore in the area.

“You absolutely must stop for matcha ice cream while you’re here, you just have to!” Kurumi pleaded with me when I told her I thought it was too cold for ice cream.

We eventually followed each other around the temple and took photos, I said goodbye and headed out back to main street for some snacks and shopping. I ran into her again on a bridge and asked where she was headed.

I asked if I could join her for some tea and dessert and she excitedly said of course. The moment just felt right. 

We sat together, had some green tea and ice cream with each other and talked about our travels. She had been staying in Kyoto for two months and shared her stories and best photos. I told her about my time in Japan as we got to know about each others while eating matcha parfaits and drinking tea.

Soon we left the tea house in search of something more and ended up walking into a Daiso. I was looking for some treats to bring home and she was happy to follow along.

While we walked the aisles, she asked me if I liked anime. I didn’t really, but knew of some references. 

“Do you like Sanrio?” I asked her when we passed the Hello Kitty display. Of course she did and we pointed out our favorite characters.

That’s when I got transported back to the playground and remembered asking new friends what they were into.

“Do you like cats or dogs?”

“What’s your favorite food?”

“What movie have you seen recently?”

“Who do you think is cuter, Zack Morris or AC Slater?”

All of these silly questions were asked so we could get to know the human standing in front of us a little more. It was like a light bulb turned on and it was a beautiful moment I will think of often.

We eventually exchanged Instagram accounts and said our goodbyes. Even today we still chat with each other through the photos we post. 

I love making friends while traveling. It’s not everyday you can take time away from your normal life to see the world. I cherish this time, even though it takes me away from my partner, my family, my dogs, and other life responsibilities. But these magical moments sharing time and space with strangers make up for it. Whether or not we can understand the words we’re saying, the feeling of connectedness is still there, even if we won’t see each other again. I cherish these moments and it’s one of the reasons I love to solo travel. I choose to believe that magic will show up if you know where to look.

Now that I’m back at home for a bit, we’re planning our return trips to Japan, Indonesia, and Guam. I don’t we’ll stop traveling any time in the future. It’s part of our lives and I will continue to be grateful for the health and energy I have to do it.

Lucky Girl

(Originally written on December 11, 8:34am)

I’m sitting at the writing desk inside my bungalow at Villa O’Hea in Ubud, Bali.

I just woke up. The windows and doors are open, and my view outside is unbelievable. My bungalow is next to my parents’ and I can hear their morning routines of making coffee and watching the news.

It’s windy outside and the leaves are rustling about. It just started to rain. I see flags and Bali’s version of a scarecrow in the rice paddies below starting to shift about.

—

“You’re a very lucky girl, you know,” Tante Yanthi said as soon as we left the King’s side yesterday.

“Oh, I know,” I said.

“This was all meant to be,” my aunt continued. The Gods of Bali are showing their approval the way this happened all so easily.”

—

I found our wedding venue yesterday. Even though I don’t have a final guest count, our date, or even a budget, I’m confident that the Royal Pita Maha will be the amazing destination I’ve been dreaming of.

The first time I came to Royal was almost exactly 10 years from today.

Tante Yanthi, her daughter, my mom, my brother and I came to Bali for the first time in July 2014. We’d spend a week hanging out at beach clubs, eating delicious food, shopping and chilling out.

One of my favorite memories (and maybe the one that sparked my love for travel writing) was our one-night stay at Royal. Tante Yanthi pulled out all the stops and we had the amazing opportunity to stay at the King’s most exquisite property.

I fell in love with the intricacies of the stone sculptures and the nature surrounding the property. We slept in one of the honeymoon suites above the Ayung River, the holy waters, and trees older than all of us combined. I look back at the photos I posted and I’m still amazed by the hundreds of places to get lost and soak up the scenery.

Even 10 years ago, I knew in my heart I’d get back to this magical property.

We’d spend the rest of our time in Ubud exploring museums and marketplaces before visiting the Puri, or Palace, where the King and his family lived.

Two courtyards in the palace are open to the public for photos and a nightly legong show. But Tante Yanthi took it another level and arranged for us to meet Tjokorda Putra Sukawati, the King, himself.

To our amazement, we were invited inside to have tea with him and chat about Ubud, the Gods of Bali, local art and culture, and all of the reasons we needed to come back for another visit.

I never forgot about that amazing afternoon and I mention it often when people ask me about traveling to Bali.

—

Yesterday was full of surprises. Tante Yanthi joined us again in Bali and we met up in Ubud. I scheduled some wedding site visits this week and she came early to stay with us before an event. From the moment we met up with her, our time together was full of laughter and serendipitous moments.

After our first dinner together, she took us next door to one of the King’s other hotels. As soon as she walked in, she was greeted warmly by the staff who had seemingly known her for years. She wanted to show us a few of her favorite hotels as wedding venue inspo, and I knew in the back of my mind that the Royal Pita Maha would come up.

She made arrangements for us to come back to the hotel the next morning for breakfast and I told her I wanted to show mom and dad Royal as a potential venue option. The hotel manager alerted the event coordinator at Royal about our tour request.

The magic was already beginning.

After a delicious breakfast, I ended up rescheduling my appointment at a nearby Marriott hotel. (Spoiler alert: I never made it to any of the appointments I originally scheduled ;)) We packed up, hiiighly caffeinated with local kopi, and made our way to Royal. Magically, they could squeeze us in for a visit in 30 minutes.

We arrived at the lobby at Royal, which was tucked off the major thoroughfare. Surrounded by trees and a gigantic statue, the sense of familiarity took over.

Mom waited in the restaurant overlooking the rainforest while the rest of us toured the hotel with Swetha (my new best friend ;)).

There was another small wedding happening as we walked by the waterfall. We found cover from the rain in a venue space right above the river and watched river rafters float by until we found umbrellas.

I got to see their glass house (where we’ll eventually get married), the reception area, our dance floor, and where we’d have our first dance. I saw where we could have breakfast the following day.

At our venue

It all felt right, effortless, and as if it was all pre-planned. I left Royal with the biggest smile and shift in energy.

“It has to be the Royal Pita Maha,” I told mom when we got back to the lobby. “It’s set, no other venue could even compare to this one.”

With a rush of adrenaline, we left the property and made our way to one of the other hotels within the King’s portfolio. Tante Yanthi wanted to show us where our guests could stay since it was just a mile or two down the road. The manager took us around the space and my mouth dropped when I saw their amazing jacuzzi and cold plunge pools at the spa, along with the villas where our friends and family would stay in.

After a sweat-drenched tour, I went to the bathroom to freshen up. As I walked back up to the restaurant, the staff was whispering about something. Tante Yanthi told me the King just arrived at the hotel. The word “shocked” isn’t a strong enough word and doesn’t even explain the sensation that came over me.

“Did someone tell him that you were here?” I asked my aunt. Nope.

Lo and behold, there he was in an unassuming outfit sipping on some tea. I greeted him while Tante Yanthi gave him a warm embrace. I told him that it had been many years since our first meeting. I told him we met at his palace more than 10 years ago. I pulled up my old Facebook photo archive and our photos with him instantly popped up. He laughed and commented on how silly he looked back then.

We chatted for a bit at the cafe and my parents eventually came over to say hello. He shared lots of stories with us; I told him how much I loved Royal Pita Maha and that I wanted our wedding there. I even showed him my phone’s wallpaper, which was a photo of me and Andy at his palace last year during our Bali trip.

“You’ll be the first one I send an invitation to,” I told him, half jokingly.

“Even better, I will be a witness at your wedding,” he said.

The King and I

I was floored and I could tell my mom and my aunt were low-key freaking out next to me.

And that was it. It was settled.

We left the King to find some dinner and let him move on with his day. I have photos of my mom and Tante Yanthi walking to the car after that moment. They look like little school girls with their big eyes, laughing in disbelief.

“You’re a lucky girl, you know,” Tante Yanthi told me.

And boy*, do I know it.

—

(Please know that I subscribe beyond the “boy and girl” spectrum, and this play on words is for comedic purposes only. I love all of you, and your gender identities <3)

Inside the Palace, and just missing my brother

The end

The liminal spaces in between

(Originally written on December 4, 2024)

Location: above the sanctuary at Tanaman restaurant potato head. 

Setting: I just finished the vibration sound therapy in the Sanctuary. It smells like rain here and fresh flowers.

I just got out of the sanctuary feeling sleepy and like I took a nap filled with lucid dreams. 

Where did I go that last hour?

Laying on a waterbed with lights and sounds taking over the space, I leave the physical world if only for a few moments.

The physicalness of my being starts to wither away, my itchy skin, I notice the twinge of the “pins and needles” the teacher mentioned before we started. The soreness from yesterday’s pilates class all seem to fall into the floor below me.

The shamanic teacher takes us to another place with her sounds, the songs of birds, Oms, primal noises bellowing from her belly.

Lights start to flicker about, and soon I realize what she meant when she said it could be jarring for people who are sensitive to light.

And yet, I still lay there waiting for “something” to happen. 

As others wiggle about to find comfort, I hear the sounds of the water beds sloshing about. I find my eye mask and get more comfortable as my body adjusts to the floating sensation.

I go deeper. And from that point forward, time seems liminal.

The combination of feeling weightless paired with sound and vibration take over me. I rest into it, moving away from the thoughts in my mind to just let them be where they lay.

Without force, my soul seems to float into another space. There’s no destination, I’m not the one driving this time. But I guess when you look at it closely, there is still a part of me that knows where to lead us.

I’m not really sure what happened in that room. Some of the visuals made sense at the time, some will be left and forgotten in the room with the hope that they come back later in life as a little signal.

It’s hard to find the words to explain the places your mind goes to when you’re guided with meditation and allowed the freeness to just be. Quiet the mind, let what comes up to rise to the surface. Just for it to slowly fade away when the teacher invites you to come back to your body.

Those moments of separation from mind and body, those are the ones that people liken to chasing that silly dragon. 

You can’t recreate it, but when it happens, you know. And you embrace it as much as humanly possible. 

Some people use vices to get back to the dragon, only needing to ingest more to meet him face to face again. 

But sometimes, it’s easy to get back to that space in between by just laying there and letting it find you.

It is a sanctuary for a reason, a place far from the sounds of the street, people yapping about, and a safe haven away from your thoughts.

The entrance fee varies, whether monetary, spacial, or through sweat and tears.

I always want to go back to it as soon as I feel it once again. Like an old friend you see so seldomly, who welcomes you home with the deepest of hugs and most insightful of memories.

I will see you again, dear dragon. Hopefully soon. But if not, I totally understand. 

Be there for yourself

(Originally written December 2, 2024)

The theme of my first week in Bali was to “be there for yourself.”

I guess you could say I’m here for business, a bit of work. But I always feel a certain way when I’m in Bali. This is now my fourth time on the Island of Gods. I’ve been here with family a few times and took Andy here last year to celebrate my birthday.

Next week I’ll be knee deep in wedding venue hunting, running all over the island. But this week offers a lot of down time.

Nothing to do but hang out, enjoy the town, and reset. I’ve been going non-stop since our trip to India. I’ve made an effort to see as many family members before and after our trip to Thailand. I’ve done it all. 

But this week, I magically filled each day with a wellness class, whether it be a yoga class above a rice paddy field, Pilates, or a somatic breath work class with reiki.

Today is the first day of wellness week and I went to a yoga studio that my teacher in Jakarta recommended, Serenity Eco Guesthouse.

I started following them on Instagram when she told me about them and was so excited to find them on ClassPass.

I poked around their website and signed up for their sunset flow right before reading that they’d be holding a somatic breath work and reiki workshop. 

Take my money, I didn’t even think twice about it. And I’m so glad I did it.

My latest mantra is that life is too short. Just do the thing you’ve been thinking about, without any regrets.

I showed up at Serenity a bit before class. I was with family earlier in the day and I was ready for some alone time. Not that I needed a break, I just needed some stillness.

I walked to the beach and said hello to the waves before walking past an awesome coworking space, some coffee shops and restaurants.

There’s just something about how Bali integrates nature with its living spaces that makes me want to live here.

I got set up in yoga class; the studio was lovely. It was perched above some trees, along with the pool and some guest rooms. There was a garden that explained the medicinal properties of Bali’s native plants.

The yoga sequence and flow were great. I worked on my handstand and got some personalized assists and tips from the teacher. It started to rain nearly the moment the class started. There’s something so magical about taking a yoga class outside, or just simply outside of a room of mirrors. 

I forget the moment the instructor said it but what I remember most was when he said “Be there for yourself.” It might have been when he was guiding us through inversions or during the abs set.  But something about his statement stuck with me.

Be there for yourself. 

I had some downtime before the breath work workshop so I shopped a bit in their lobby and took a shower.

I met Nicole, the breath work teacher. I’ve taken a few breath work classes in San Diego and always felt more alive after them. This class would be coupled with sound healing too so I knew I’d be in good hands.

Nicole led us through multiple rounds of breath while my body sank into the ground and seemed to float away the deeper I got into the rhythm of breath she set for us.

It started to rain again. 

I drifted off somewhere during the class. I’m not really sure where I actually “went” but I know that when I returned back to my mat, back into the yoga studio perched above the trees, I had gone “somewhere.”

I laid still for a bit, trying to soak in all of the feelings and visions of where my brain took me. I pulled an oracle card from the deck Nicole laid out. The card was all about my spirit guide.

“Your spirit guide is the personal spiritual teacher who was with you before you came to this world and began your current journey. It is the spirit who watches over your life and directs the lessons you must learn in order to grow and expand before you return to the spirit world with all your new knowledge.

“Even if you don’t know it, you have made a contract with this spiritual friend and mentor to learn together in a procession of life after life in order to add more experiences to your soul group and higher self…

“Even when your head is overfull with thoughts, your guide will still speak, this time to your heart, and you will receive a feeling that will let you know that your guide has answered you.”

I left the breathing session entranced, wanting to linger a bit longer before returning back to the world and the sounds of life. I eventually walked to one of my favorite restaurants and just sat and watched the world go by.

The next day, I signed up for a yoga class at Jiva Yoga, a studio I found on ClassPass that was just a few minutes away from our villa. I met Vena, the instructor, in the coffee shop downstairs, not realizing I showed up almost 30 minutes early to class. We chatted the entire time, getting to know each other, asking each other about our concurrent wedding plans, and sharing stories from our cultures.

The outdoor studio space was new, a covered deck that overlooked a rice paddy field below. The studio was at someone’s property so there were lots of trees and dogs to greet me when I arrived.

I was the only student who signed up for class that day, and let me tell you, that is one of my favorite surprises. I love signing up for a group yoga class just to find out I’m the only person in attendance. It happened the first time when I took a class at CorePower with my teacher friend Brooke. The attention and adjustments you receive are so special.

Vena was an amazing teacher and adjusted me often. She moved my body around so I could go deeper. Her sequence was in flow with my body and I came out of that class drenched in sweat and fully aligned. I ended up taking another class with her the next day because I loved the vibe so much.

After freshening up and meeting my parents for a quick snack, I hopped on a motorcycle to Potato Head. My aunt told me about a light, sound and vibrational therapy offered at the wellness space within Potato Head.

I arrived at Potato Head early so I could grab a juice and enjoy the property for a bit. It started to rain so I was happy to find some cover inside the Sanctuary.

The experience was other worldly. I walked into the room lined with soft curtains, musical gongs and instruments. The smell of incense filled the room ever so delicately. We all laid down on individual spaces which included a water-bed mattress of sorts, hooked up to a vibrational machine. Prismatic lights would shine above us in sequence and color that matched up with sound therapy.

Like other sound healing sessions, I’m not really sure where I went. Yes, my body was physically in a room with strangers and strange machines. But my mind. That went somewhere unknown. The experience is so hard to explain because I don’t really think you can put into words how you feel during the session. (Check out this piece I wrote right after the sound healing session.)

After our hour-long experience was over, I lingered at the restaurant awhile, really not wanting to enter back into the hustle of the Balinese streets. I ended up eating the most amazing vegan nasi campur, before eventually leaving and finding my way to a hair salon to wait out the rain.

Bali feels like home to me for some reason. Even though I’ve only been here four times, it feels like I belong here. The ability to practice movement, sound therapy, and breathwork is one of my favorite things. And to experience it on the Island of Gods makes everything that much more magical.

My hope is that I’ll always be able to come to Bali to experience new things and meet new people, even if those new people are within myself.

Travel Agent by day, Travel Writer by night

It’s November 18th and I’m sitting at The Coffee Club in Old Town Phuket. I found this bright and airy coffee shop via my best travel friend, Google Maps. I’m sitting upstairs in a glass box overlooking big bushy trees and quiet traffic below.

The coffee shop seems young, with its hip-looking people working behind their computers and Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter playing (read: blaring) in the background. My server is a sweet, demure Thai boy who I could just gobble up.

One of many plates of noodles I devoured in Thailand

The cafe vibe feels oddly familiar. Somehow I always find myself going for a quick bite and a refresh at a comfy cafe. I just finished a bowl of shrimp Pad Thai after a long walk through Old Town and up to Monkey Hill.

I could travel like this forever. No real schedule other than showing up on time for my tours. Lots of exploring by foot, putting my nose up to the air to smell the delicious things cooking around me, popping into adorable boutiques and chatting up employees who compliment my outfit or tell me I look like a local. Some of my favorite travel memories are the conversations I have with strangers.

Why do I feel most at peace when I’m traveling the world? Of course, I’d stick Andy in my front pocket and take him around for the adventure ( I love that scene in “Her”) but he’s staying home and tending to the house and our lives back home.

One of the many things I love about Andy is that he has some of the best ideas. When our forces and powers combine, we are that power couple everyone loves and admires. But even more, one of his best, most recent ideas was that I learn to be a modern-day travel agent.

I mean, it’s so obvious. Why didn’t I think about it first?

With Fora Travel, I’m learning all the ways to book hotels, private villas, flights and activities while I, too, travel the world. I signed up the other day, used myself as my first client, and had a wonderful, personalized stay at the Sheraton Jakarta Soekarno Hatta Airport Hotel before I flew out to Bangkok.

I found it thrilling to set up my profile, start some trainings, and price compare properties. I was so excited to check into the hotel and see what extra special treatment I would get as a “VIP client.” The staff at the Sheraton was super sweet and I had lovely conversations with the manager at check in and later again after dinner. The upgrades were awesome and I got many travel-well wishes from the staff. (I mentioned my travel plans in my emails to the reservations team and was surprised when a couple people on staff mentioned my upcoming flight to Bangkok!)

I get so much joy out of finding the best hotel and location in each city we travel to. I think about the people I’ll be traveling with and all the things we want to do and the meals we want to have, and all of that is considered when I book my travel.

Becoming a travel agent won’t feel like “work” and I’d actually be taking advantage of something I really enjoy doing. I love a good deal, collecting points, and finding the most comfortable bed to lay my head down after a full day of running around a new city.

Being a travel agent may not pay me the six-figure salary I’m used to getting in the corporate world, but at least I’d still feel free.

If you’re reading this and absolutely detest searching for hotels or activities to do while you’re traveling, hit me up! I’d love to help you book travel to your next adventure!

Awakening my tastebuds in Thailand

It’s 7:19pm on Saturday, November 23. I’m writing this while flying back to Jakarta with my parents across the aisle from me.

We’re 30,000 feet in the air, watching the sun set over Malaysia. I just spent ten days traipsing around Thailand. This trip came together because a family member offered us her family’s timeshare. The available dates coincided perfectly with my dad’s birthday. Thailand wasn’t really on our radar, but I’d always wanted to go.

The opportunity and the timing was right so we booked our flights a few weeks ago. I’d spend two extra days in Bangkok before my parents arrived so I could run around town and explore on my own. I knew of some attractions in Thailand through friends who’ve visited before. I knew about its white sand beaches, amazing food, and fun shopping. I’ve had many aunties tell me to go with a nearly empty suitcase because there’d be so much fun stuff there to buy.

But what I’ll take most from our Thailand trip are the flavors. 

One of the reasons I love traveling internationally is how my tastebuds light up when I try new flavor combinations.

Nothing gets me more excited than when I travel to Mexico and Latin America and have the best tacos or ceviche of my life. To see the dozens of different types of corn and potatoes, or avocados the size of your head. Those are the memories I still hold onto.

Or when we get to visit friends in Vancouver and Montreal. Nothing tastes better than red wine and steak with friends at one of the many fancy restaurants, or a late-night poutine after drinking too many martinis. Our recent trip to India opened my eyes to incredible spice blends, chutneys, and sweet milk cakes that I still dream about. Food seems to taste better when a passport stamp is part of the journey ;)

The flavors, textures, colors, and smells of Asian food are in a league of their own. Obviously, living in America, I have my favorite places for legit Cantonese dim sum, or Thai noodles from the local place we’ve been going to for years.

Thai Tea concoctions purchased at the source. Nothing gets better than sipping on some cold tea on a hot day in Bangkok.

But nothing compares to going to the birthplace of these dishes to make your mouth and soul light up.

The November weather in Thailand was no joke. To think that we we’re going during a time when it’s less hot and humid was nearly unnoticeable. It rained a lot while we were there, like monsoonal torrential rain for one to two hours each day. The rain was actually a relief, briefly cooling down the city before the heat returned. Most days we stayed inside during the peak heat, oftentimes finding ourselves wandering luxury malls, inevitably ending up in the basement food court or buzzing restaurants.

One of the many snippets from the night markets in Bangkok

I can honestly say I never had a bad meal in Thailand. From mall bakeries and street food to oceanfront seafood markets and Michelin-starred spots, everything I ate was unreal. I knew that there were a lot of award-winning restaurants in Bangkok, and I was eager to book a reservation, but I found just as much joy walking through its bustling streets, snacking along the way.

Skewers of meat, fresh fruit, seafood, noodles, curries, and rice dishes—my Asian-bred tastebuds were in heaven. I took small bites everywhere, essentially turning every day into a progressive meal. Thai teas, delicate pastries, endless noodles, and curries became my routine.

Sweet little bites from the food court in Bangkok

I’m fairly certain I took at least a half dozen photos of every meal I had. I tasted all of the local favorites and took 500+ photos of food alone.

My camera ate first at every meal, of course. It’s an unspoken rule among foodies, especially Asian Americans like me. There’s something so beautiful about food—the composition, colors, and steam rising from a dish—that begs to be photographed before even knowing what it’ll taste like. My phone now holds a gallery delicious reminders of every bite imprinted on my phone just to show off later.

It’s a weird concept, but this photo gallery is absolute food porn for people like me.

As an Asian American, I think I’m the only person in my friend group who snacks just about every three hours. I’m excited to plan my next meal, and I’m even more excited to think about what I’ll cook next.

Since traveling the world so much these last few years, I’ve grown to love learning how to make my favorite Asian dishes once I’m home. I’ll get hyper fixated on a dish I’ve eaten while traveling, and then learn how to cook it with all of the special sauces and spices I’ve brought back.

In Phuket, I had the genius idea to take a cooking class. I wanted to meet some locals, check out a market, and learn to cook Thai dishes.

Taking a cooking class while traveling might be my new favorite thing to do. I found Phuket Thai Cooking Class with VJ through my Marriott Bonvoy app. I was looking for a class that offered a market tour to see where some of the ingredients were sourced.

I arrived at VJ’s and waited for the rest of the class to arrive. We hopped in the van and drove just a few minutes down the road to a local market where we learned about herbs and vegetables we’d use during class. We tried local fruit (I had the best pineapple and longan there) and I bought some local chili oil, which would be the base of many dishes to come.

Our guide showed us around the market a bit before we went back to the classroom to start prepping Tom Yum Soup, Shrimp Pad Thai, Red Curry, and Mango Sticky Rice.

We put on our aprons and learned about the herbs and vegetables we’d use. Kaffir lime, galangal, and lemongrass were never things I cooked with before so I loved how our teacher walked us through how to prep each item.

Cooking with a wok—now at the top of my shopping list—made everything lightning fast. We started prepping shallot, garlic, and other aromatics, along with chili peppers picked up from the market.

I was never a huge fan of Tom Yum Soup back at home, but after making it from scratch, I’m a convert. From the fresh kaffir lime leaves to the lemongrass stalks, now that I know how it’s supposed to taste, I totally get it. The American version of the soup always tasted too sour for me, but now that I know that tamarind, fishy chili oil, and coconut milk are the main components, I know how to make it the real way.

The soup turned out amazing and took no more than five minutes to make. We started prepping the sticky rice for dessert we’d have later, just before prepping the ingredients for our Pad Thai.

I’m normally a Pad See Ew kind of a girl, and leave it up to someone else at the table to order it, but now that I’ve cooked fresh Pad Thai on my own, I absolutely cannot wait to try and cook it once I’m back home.

From the charred-flavored meats and tofu, to the perfect mix of tamarind, fish sauce, oyster sauce, palm sugar, pickled radish, and chilis, I totally understand why this is the most popular noodle dish to come out of Thailand. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent drinking Chang beers, while swapping stories with other students about their travels. The cooking class attendants were fantastic, even helping me when I didn’t get my curry paste to the right consistency (probably because I was taking too many pics instead of grinding out all of the ingredients). I had such a blast and would 100% recommend everyone take a cooking class while traveling abroad.

My tastebuds feel alive again—call it a culinary awakening. I don’t know about my other fellow Americans, but not only has food gotten stupid expensive, but it just doesn’t taste all that good. It feels uninspired.

Grocery-store produce has started to look a little sad lately, and our local restaurants have been disappointing. Armed with new recipes, I can’t wait to show off my new knowledge.

My mom will be the first one to tell you that I never liked Asian food when I was a kid. She’d work a whole day at the office, come home and make a giant bowl of stir fried noodles and a saucy chicken to go with it. And I’d be the idiot who’d say she’d prefer fettuccine alfredo and garlic bread instead. 

Times have changed. I’m fully embracing my roots. Even Andy is getting so much better and using chopsticks and upping his spice level.

We’re about 45 minutes away from landing back in Jakarta where we’ll celebrate my dad’s birthday. Next week we’re headed to Bali for a couple weeks to catch up with family and friends. I’ll also be wedding venue hunting!

It hasn’t fallen short on me that I’m so incredibly lucky to have this free time to travel right now. My home country is a little rocky right now and I’m so happy to be here in Asia spending time with family and experiencing things from my mom’s home country. The holidays are right around the corner and I’m looking forward to a tropical, even monsoonal Christmas.

Me in my happy place. Sorry, shrimpie

If I have it my way, our holiday dinners will feature my Pad Thai and Tom Yum Soup.